. Allisoleil .

Oil Paint & Jasmine

2009-03-12T00:53:00.000-07:00

My new place has it's own little deck! And it's overgrown with Jasmine that fills my room when I open the windows. What an amazing time to move in. On Saturday I took a few hours to enjoy my new little space -- I finally have a place to oil paint! Which means I could work more on this one that's hung for nearly A YEAR on my wall unfinished! (I always think if I just hang it, I'll be inspired to finish it. I suppose it takes me a bit more inspiration than that.)

I'm in a darling house on the Mesa (in SB) with 4 other fabulous girls (all older and way cooler than me, but so so fun and sweet!). Best part -- it takes me about a minute to walk down the street to a view that rivals my painting (perhaps the inspiration??).

The masterpiece has yet to be completed, but someday - I'm determined! - it will be. It's hard when you go so long on something -- I consistently fight an urge to scrap it and begin again. But I'm committed, and finished it will shortly be. I took the photo in Cyprus a few years ago... they say it's where Aphrodite was born. :)

Jabez & the Mouth from the South

2009-02-11T00:42:00.000-08:00

Sounds kinda like a children's book, doesn't it?

This weekend I had an amazing moment. One of those, "okay God, go ahead!" and He goes... sort of moments. Christie has been reading "The Prayer of Jabez," and the little old pair we are, whatever she's reading she'll usually end up reading out loud to me.

The prayer of Jabez goes...

And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, "Oh that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!" So God granted him what he requested. (NKJV)

Christie was in the second chapter: "Enlarge my territory." Essentially a prayer that asks God to expand our ministry. The author, Bruce Wikinson, marvels at the way God answers this prayer when we ask Him for ministry.

Fast forward to this Saturday... 11pm... Santa Ana... sitting inside an In&Out because AAA has yet to come rescue Morgan and I from our keys-unfortunately-in-locked-car experience. (We'd just come from a Not For Sale event and had left early for the trek back to Santa Barbara. Morgan my fabulous NFS intern and darling friend!). The rain was pouring, and we were now slumped in red plastic swivel chairs hoping the tow truck would ring before we experienced the "Out" of that fine establishment. (We'd long outstayed our welcome at Starbucks an hour earlier.) That to say... it was one of those slightly defeated, hurry up and wait, goodness we have a long drive ahead, sort of evenings.

And so I prayed the prayer. "God, expand my territory. There's nothing I can do, so give me ministry."

And He did. Within that very minute, a security guard strolled inside to wake the woman, head down against her book and fast asleep, at the table next to me. The woman I'd hardly noticed. We made eye contact, I smiled. She made some comment about needing to stay awake, I made an offer to buy her dinner (my ministry!). She said she'd already eaten (nevermind) but that she could really use finances for laundry. She was a Christian she said, and studying international business actually. And she'd pay me back if I had anything (my ministry!). I opened my wallet... to find one dollar (seriously?). I gave her that apologetically... but a conversation had begun.

We talked for who knows how long. She went on about her faith and falling away. All the years she missed knowing the Lord but her passion now for His kingdom. She told me about miseducation in math keeping her out of college at 19, but her determination today to press through it, to get her degree in International Business. We talked about our love for languages and places, and she asked me to write my email on the map in the back of her Bible -- so we could be penpals. "Oh do I have stories to tell you!" she exclaimed, nearly leaping from her seat. "And I have the mouth from the South! Oh just you wait." A few years back a newspaper did a story on her: a homeless woman in college. She said she'd send me the link! She wants to do inspirational speaking.

Albeit to say, I pulled out my checkbook and wrote her the amount that was on my heart. That week she'd tried to buy health insurance for her mother, and it turns out she'd come up $20 less of what I'd given her. "Oh and I'll pay you back!" she exclaimed. I just asked her to give it back to others when she had money again. "Oh I just love to give!" raved this woman. "It's the most freeing thing."

I left that night, exhausted and dishelved, and praising God for putting me and using me exactly where He wanted me.

Pray for expanded territory. For ministry wherever you are. Be ready though! You'll be amazed.

The Cure to Our Economic Problems

2008-11-04T12:34:00.000-08:00

...by Marc Cuban (Blog Maverick)

I have yet to publicly admit that I follow investing/economy blogs (now you know!), but I think it's so good to stay up with this stuff. As we await a tremendous decision for our country's future, I thought this recent soundbyte from investment master Marc Cuban was a great reminder to my perspective. He writes...

"I would hate to be the winning Presidential candidate. Both candidates are delusional in thinking their economic policies will drag us out of a recession or even improve the economy. The reality is that the solutions offered by both are the equivalent of shuffling the deck chairs on the Titanic. They are meaningless.

You can cut taxes for 95pct of Americans and raise taxes for the rest. You can cut taxes for businesses and retain the Bush Tax Cuts. You can increase or decrease the capital gains tax 5 or 10pct either way. Under both programs the deficit for the country will increase, we will borrow and print more money. 5 or 10pct variance either way, given the big hole our economy is in wont matter.

The cure for what ails is us the Entrepreneurial Spirit of this country. We are a nation of people who encourage , support and invest in those of any and all age, race and gender who will use their ingenuity and come up with a new idea.

Its always the new idea that re energizes this country. Industry, manufacturing, transportation, technology, digital communications, etc, each changed how we lived and ignited our economy and standard of living. Tax policy has never done that. The American People have.

Entrepreneurs who create something out of nothing don’t care what tax rates are. Bill Gates didn’t monitor the marginal tax rate when he dropped out of Harvard and started MicroSoft (btw, it was a ton higher than it is today). Michael Dell didn’t wonder what the capital gains tax was when he started PC’s Limited, and then grew it into Dell Computer. I doubt that any great business or invention started with a discussion or even a consideration of what the current or projected income or capital gains tax was or would be...

Entrepreneurs live to be entrepreneurs. I have never had a discussion with anyone about starting a business that included tax rates. Ever. If anyone that wanted an investment from me made a point of discussing tax rates as an impact on their business, I wouldn't invest in them. Ever.

Entrepreneurs live for the juice of making their dreams come true. Of having a vision and fighting to see it come true. The joy of mission accomplished and the scoreboard of the financial rewards.

We are in an economic mess right now. It doesn’t matter who caused it. It’s here. It doesn’t matter what our Presidential candidates and their economic advisors come up with. Its meaningless.

The cure to our economic problems is the Entrepreneurial Spirit of All Americans."

(don't) VOTE

2008-11-04T12:04:00.001-08:00

Wonderful Wedding

2008-10-30T16:09:00.000-07:00

This past weekend I had the immense pleasure of coordinating a gorgeous wedding in Palm Springs.

I cannot say enough about the couple, Brock & Kristina, and the passion and care they put into every detail of their day. I felt so blessed to be a part of it, and to be entrusted with enacting their vision.

Kristina is a graphic designer, and if you are getting married, are already married, might someday get married, or have ever been to a wedding -- you should check out her AMAZING blog. It was so fun to daily see photos of her ideas, and posts on her joys, frustrations, thoughts, and advice to other brides!

From the homegrown white pumpkins and succulents, to piece by piece collections of white pottery and antique flower frogs... Kristina managed to mesh the Fall season, old-world Hollywood location, garden surroundings, and her own fabulous style to make a scenery that glowed with her personal touch. And if you go to her blog, be SURE to try the recipes. Her spiced nuts, jams, and pickled zucchini (hoarded over at the rehearsal cocktail party) are to die for!

It's truly a gift to work with a bride so creative, SO organized, so on top of things -- and yet who continually threw out lines like, "I know it won't be perfect," or, "however it works out will be fine!" Really... coordinator's dream come true :)

Not to mention, the joy of seeing how loving, supportive, and involved her husband was in all the planning. These two had been buddies since jr. high, but it was evident that he still is deeply in awe of his radiant bride.

Her beautiful dress was made by Alix&Kelly, a very boutiquey and personal dress design co. in LA that I highly recommend! The event was held at The Colony Palms Hotel in Palm Springs -- newly restored and glamorously adorned to reflect it's original 1930's mobster ownership!

One OTHER reason why this wedding was so fabulous... I was assisted by my two wonderful friends Christie and Emily! All of the hard work of coordinating was book ended by fun and refreshing girl time. Other than the moment when I had to pull them from the cabanas to come help with wedding details ;) I think they loved it as much as I did!

In the Spring I'll be coordinating Emily's wedding to my friend and Bible study leader Sean. We had a blast chatting through details over the weekend, and Emily was so inspired by the bride's ability to combine home details and personal touches with the highest element of class and elegance.

I feel so blessed to get to be a part of such a significant and holy day for these couples. I'm so thankful!

Praise worthy!

2008-10-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

This week US Federal government broke trafficking rings in 29 cities throughout the US.

600 adults were arrested, and 52 kids were rescued. What a huge success!

Check out the BBC article here!

The good, the Bad, and the Railroad Tracks

2008-08-29T09:52:00.000-07:00

In the interview by Paul Bradshaw with Rick Warren (Purpose Driven Life), Rick said:

"People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were not made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.
We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest, with my wife, Kay, getting cancer.

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a rail road track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into selfcenteredness,"which is my problem, my issues, my pain." But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her.

It has been very difficult for her, and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.
Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.

That's why we're called human beings, not human doings."

The past week I've continued to reflect on this interview. Thank you Mom for passing it along :)

Carmen Miranda & the White House

2008-08-28T11:56:00.000-07:00

In fourth grade I did a dance in our church musical where we sang in Spanish about the Fruits of the Spirit and one of my peers macaranaed around wearing a fruit turban in all the glory of Carmen Miranda. I think I was cast as an apple (though I'm less sure what that represented). Each time I hear mention of these biblical "fruits" I shimmy my shoulders a bit and start singing in Spanish. My childish memory, but today I'm reminded that the calling's much deeper.

I realize some days, like today, how difficult it can be for me to live out the fruits of the spirit. I get stubborn, impatient, frustrated, etc, etc... and out the window they seem to go. Yet their evidence in our lives is a necessary part of living out our faith. Galatians is one of those tried and true books that I always flip past - having felt like I conquered it's depth in fourth grade - but today I reread it and discovered its wisdom completely anew.

The Spirit and the sinful nature are always in conflict, always at odds, always competing in their desires (5:17). Whenever my heart's at unease, it's likely because I'm failing to yield to the Spirit. After naming the characteristics of the sinful nature - Paul's not just going to let us skirt past! - we're reminded of the fruits grown from a life rooted in Christ.

Years ago in the front cover of my Bible I copied this poem. A reminder, in all my need for pragmatics!, at how love is at the heart of living out godly character.

Love is the Key

"Joy is love singing.

Peace is love resting.

Long-suffering is love enduring.

Kindness is love's touch.

Goodness is love's character.

Faithfulness is love's habit.

Gentleness is love's self-forgetfulness.

Self-control is love holding the reigns."

- Donald Grey Barnhouse

After touring the House of our nation's leadership this morning in DC, I realize leadership in my own life starts awfully small, at some profound and childlike basics.

*Cha Cha Cha!*

The city that never sleeps!

2008-08-26T07:27:00.000-07:00

For the past four days I've had the ol' time croonings of Sinatra's "New York, New York!" circling my mind on repeat (we're in Boston this morning and it still hasn't stopped... uh oh!).

There truly is something so majestic and almost opportunistic about that infamous city. The honking and screeching of yellow cabs, the pungent smell of dirty curbs, the incessant bustle of faces and voices at all times of day. Each night we were in Times Square I had absolutely no conception of time - 2 am could have been 8 pm for all this Santa Barbara girl could tell.

It was my first time back since my graduation field trip in 8th grade. Somewhere in that city of dreams I came down with a horrific virus -- so my memories of the big apple are feverish sweats in central park, my face pressed against the top floor window of the Empire State staring dizzily down at the miniatured street, brusque paramedics asking my birth date in the airport... and me unable to remember.

But this time around I was determined to have my redemptive experience. And in the midst of flight delays, terminal sprints, and a two hour cab ride to meet the broken down bus in New Jersey -- God granted His traveling mercies. My nose against the bombardier plexiglass, my plane into La Gaurdia swooped low across the entire breadth of the city.

The heights of the towers, the greens of the parks, the frame of the water, the noble teal form of Miss Liberty... took my breath away and caught me for a moment in the timeless captivation of New York. I wanted to wave the other weathered travelers over to my window yelling, "Looook!" but most seemed much too cool and disinterested. So I fell back to my view, lost in the grandness and simplicity of seeing this breathtaking landscape from the sky.

I may not be cut out for city life (*ahem, see video below) but for a moment Sinatra would have loved to see me swooning.

* photo by Kenny Kim :)

...go round and round!

2008-08-11T16:51:00.000-07:00

Bus life is WONDERFUL.

Tonight marks the end of my California tour with DJ and the Showit crew, and it has been such an incredible experience. I can't believe how much a bus can feel like home!...

One of the most incredible things was having my beautiful friend Christie join us for the adventure. It was so special to share this experience with one of my dear friends! Not mention, Tricia and Tiff joined us in Santa Barbara to see DJ and Jasmine speak!
On the way up the coast we parked at Fisherman's Warf and spent the afternoon meandering around Carmel by the Sea drinking Chai lattes and smacking on old fashioned peppermint chews. We were paid a special visit that evening by Eric of Vision Launchers and his wife Camille -- Eric has done so much to advance NFS web projects, and they are Westmont alums so we have so many connections!

The writing of this post continues into Tuesday, where I know sit in the Sheraton lobby of downtown San Francisco while the bus makes its way to Salt Lake City. I feel so unbelievably blessed to have been a part of the California portion of the tour. Who would have thought I'd miss my tiny bunk so much?? :)

What made it so wonderful was feeling like I was with family. After all the busyness of travel, crowds and shows, we throw on our pj's at the end of the day and flop on the couches with people we love and feel cared by. Surrounded by friends who inspire me to both excel and goof around, I felt completely at home!

Last major highlight... Seeing my family!! My coordinator instinct taking the reigns, I planned NFS meetings for these past 3 days in the city. The bus swung through my hometown of Santa Cruz so I could pick up a car....the neighbor kids all came running alongside the bus, pointing at the spectacle, and sure enough my parents had a whole spread of food waiting on the kitchen table! I loved having them meet everyone (I always hear how similar my mom and I's mannerisms are!). Last night they picked up my brother Adam from his camp counseling position and came all the way up to the city for the show. It was the last time I'll see Adam until he's back from his semester in South Africa, so it was beyond a treat.

And now I'm the last left in the city by the sea, eating lunch in this colorful lobby. We film the next NFS documentary today, so I take off for my grand film debut in just a few minutes :) I'm feeling jazzed and refreshed from breakfast in bed with Jasmine (we stayed behind at the hotel last night!) and feel so excited for all the adventures to come.

MSNBC Special

2008-08-01T12:19:00.000-07:00

Check this out!

MSNBC did a follow up special to their raid in Cambodia. The special inspired the work of James (featured at the beginning) who our NFS staff will be flying out to San Francisco next week for a meeting.

Most impacting to me were the stories of the girls featured... I met these very girls just 6 weeks ago when I visited the shelter. Wow.

Tracking

2008-07-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

***Below is an excerpt I scribbled out on my flight to Cambodia. Thoughts on life, that I hadn't reopened till just now :)

Tracking

I need to figure out where I’m going. I just checked the clock, and seven long hours still await on this flight due East to Taiwan. I think it’s one in the morning. But I left LAX at one in the morning. We must be moving back in time, but I’d thought, though quite nonsensically, that we’d be moving forward. Delayed so long ago on the runway, we’ll miss our connection to Thailand. And from Bangkok our connection to Siem Reap. The sky is warming with the glow of day. I’m tired, but eye mask and neck pillow and Tylenol pm – all combined – have yet to keep me sleeping in these cramped coach quarters. I’m midway across the Pacific, destined for Cambodia, and I desperately need to figure out where I’m going.

Twenty-two.

My golden birthday, actually! Born January 22nd, 1986, which leaves me now unfortunately far from childhood, and tipped too near toward forty. Suspended in a time where I need to be young, adventurous, spontaneous, slightly uncouth…while unabashedly ambitious, matured, ordered, on-track.

Problem is, I can’t quite see the track. I’d thought for times I was on one. A Guidance Counselor approach to life’s uncertainties. But no. No track here. A track runs smooth, brassy, determined, onwards to its end. Guiding unapologetically toward its aim, it carries its vehicle with enough speed to bump any minor deterrent off the path already blazed.

The wonder and temptation of a track is that it’s something tried and true. A track is built for many, offering the bold security of reaching ones destined end. And the misery of it’s the same.

As much as I fear being without the firm guidance of two lines stretching beyond me to touch the horizon, I fear, even more, finding myself confined to them.

Faith.

Seldom sandwiched between predictable, perceivable lines. Quite never, the more I think on it. The feeling of moving forward without them: overwhelming, debilitating, lonesome, and utterly invigorating. Trackless. Faithful.

What are the answers to life’s questions at twenty-two? I suppose that at ninety I could say, or at forty-four, or even at twenty-three. But then I won’t be resting in the same uncertainties I am today, the questions themselves will change. And I want more questions than answers. Perhaps not really want, but I’m beginning to think it’s what I need.

*****

SlaveryMap.org launches!

2008-06-16T13:34:00.001-07:00

I'm home from Cambodia, and home now in Santa Cruz! I felt so blessed to be able to spend the weekend with my parents, celebrating my amazing dad for Father's Day!

A NFS staff summit in Half Moon Bay gave me the perfect opportunity to get some time at home. So many incredible things are happening with the campaign! I left our meeting (9-5 at Peete's coffee without a single break!) so excited to be a part of this movement.

A huge PR firm in Minneapolis, Martin Williams, has taken us on pro-bono a pitched a huge PR strategy for us. I'll post updates as it takes form. I was floored by their creative genius!

I just got off a conference call with the team at a start-up that wants to partner with us to launch a tv ad campaign. Again, more details to come, but I think this could be big :)

And last, but by no means least, we are finally launching SlaveryMap.org tomorrow to our constituency! This is a project I began working on shortly after I came on board with NFS, and I'm elated to see our vision finally come to fruition. I think this will be a monumental resource for engaging our constituency. Not only can the public view a collective database of trafficking incidents, but they can share research they conduct on slavery incidents to the map. There's also an embed function at the top of each incident, so you can post the map anywhere on the web.

Check it out, I'd love your thoughts and feedback!

Bangkok

2008-06-04T20:50:00.000-07:00

We made it safely to Bangkok! My dear friends Morgan and Lauren accompanied me here to visit an amazing organization called NightLight. It's a huge organization that pulls women out of the red light district and brings them into a thriving Christian community where they are employed making jewelry. Yesterday we toured the buildings, met with the designer, and picked out some new designs for NFS to offer. This morning we went back to join the morning worship service with about 75 of the women, and picked up the new jewelry pieces we'll be offering! Now we're off for a boatride down the Chaophraya and then lunch at the Oriental. This city is HUGE and such a culture shock coming from Cambodia! I'll post more stories from there soon... I'm still saying hello and thank you in Cambodian, and getting some crazy looks! I'm trying to adjust! =)

The Blessed Ones

2008-05-29T09:55:00.000-07:00

These girls are beautiful. Vietnamese. Cambodian. Raven hair, olive eyes. From eight years old to mid-teens. Spunky, graceful, delicate. Each one glowing from the inside out. These girls are the most loving, the most adoring girls I’ve ever met. Twenty-five of them, beaming, hugging, grabbing my hands and nestling their sweet faces under my arms. Exhausting every English word they know to ask us questions, giggling and offering to teach me words in Khmer. Their joy is magnetic. These girls are full of life, energy, excitement, hope.

These girls are survivors of brutal sex crimes. Some were rescued from trafficking, where adults sold their tiny bodies daily to the highest bidder. Some were auctioned by their parents to locals who believe sex with a virgin can shield a man from HIV. Others lived in homes where mom, desperate for extra income, allowed ravenous men to visit them and their sisters regularly.

These girls were the victims of rape. And not “rape,” as the director explained to us carefully, but “RAPE.” Violent, malicious, horrifying, all-capitalized rape. I feel nauseous now as the thought sweeps my mind. Several will never have children, their insides have been so brutally maimed.

Adults took the lives, the bodies, the spirits of these innocent girls and exploited them. Today, vendors along the streets sell cheap dvd’s of horrendous child pornography – some displaying these very children. The experience of the girls is disseminated through communities like poison. Cambodians watch the videos in their open shanties, and the whole family sees. The children see. The neighbors see. And the fathers decide to try what they saw. Another child. The cycle is poison.

I can’t express the rage, the heartbreak, I feel at the thought of what men could do to these beautiful girls. It wrenches me, beyond what I’ve ever experienced, to comprehend the human capacity for evil.

And all the while, hope. These girls now have light in their eyes. One once described her life as that of the lotus flower. It grows out of dirty water, a dark and painful past. But it grows through it, out into the light. Its stalk is sturdy, strong; and the flower blossoms grand with color and beauty.

The girls, glittering in silken costumes and elegant up-dos, performed a dance for us that represented this transformation. They began, poised with innocence as the lotus, and were slowly broken down by snakes and snails. Only to be comforted and brought together again by the saving fish, until they blossomed tall once more. At the end of the performance, the director asked a volunteer to tell us what the dance meant. A girl stood with confidence, and the eyes of her and her friends filled with tears as she relayed the metaphor in her native Khmer.

The director then asked me to respond on behalf of our visiting group. I stood before these young girls who’d just displayed their pain and their lives before us, and struggled to express the life-long impact their expression would have on each one of us. As their instructor translated, I told them why we’d come. Why we wanted the rest of the world to know their stories and their hope.

I’ve never felt loved quite so fully and immediately, as we headed to ice cream afterwards. I was hugged again and again by these adoring girls, each looking half a decade younger than their age. I sat at a table with four of them wanting to know my favorite color, if I was married, if they could walk around the supermarket with me. They spoke barely any English, and I spoke even less Khmer! But it’s astounding the depths that a smile can say.

The shelter at Hagar, which these girls now call home, reaches out to the poorest and most destitute women and girls in Cambodia. This children’s shelter is only one facet of their remarkable programs and business initiatives. The girls are put through intensive schooling, two grades in a year, so that they leave with a full education. For as dark as their pasts are, it’s difficult to realize that these girls will end up leagues ahead of their Cambodian peers with the care they now receive. Today, they are the blessed ones.

Hagar offers holistic aftercare. As the girls go through healing and counseling, study and play, they are also enriched in a wonderful Christian community. In a culture that’s left them believing the pain of this life is caused by bad karma of the last, the girls are welcomed into the reality that an everlasting Father desires to love and redeem them from the sins of a horrifically fallen world.

Before leaving with a thousand “God bless you!’s,” the girls I sat with told me their dreams for the future. One wanted to be a singer. The youngest, a hairdresser. The third, a doctor. And the fourth, when it reached her turn, jumped from her seat and ran to the next table. She came back with the warmest grin. “NGO,” she told me.

“That is just what I do!” my heart overflowed. “You will make this world a better place,” I told her, and I know without doubt that she will.

The adventure continues

2008-05-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

We have safely arrived in Phnom Penh, the largest city in north-central Cambodia. The past four days in the southern city of Siem Reap were nothing short of remarkable.

Our trip has begun with such a solid base of cultural experience and integration. We are being exposed to all of the beauties and tragedies of modern Cambodian life. It has been less than a decade that the country has been free from the fear and devastation of continual war. In the 70's, a civil war debilitated the entire country -- what is called the Khmer Rouge genocide. Cambodians of the Khmer Rouge brutally killed the entire educated Cambodian class, and anyone critical of their political aims. Yesterday we visited a children's hospital, free to all, that prides itself on being a teaching and training center. After the devastation of the genocide, 40 doctors were left in the whole country. I can't even begin to imagine the state the of an entire country in that situation.

Lauren describes this history so well!

"Pol Pot's regime wiped out 2 million Cambodian people--the educated were targeted, while children were used as spies, soldiers, and sex slaves. Because so many of the older generation were killed, more than 50% of the current Cambodian people are under 18 years old. The Khmer Rouge really did an excelled job crippling the nation--murdering professors, teachers, doctors, and anyone else with any education. It would be hard enough to recover from years of war, but a regime that only left children, the poor, and the uneducated? The horrors of the Khmer Rouge aren't even really taught in school and it's still not ok to talk openly about the horrors of the Khmer Rouge, because, as our guides have told us, you don't even know if your neighbor was former Khmer Rouge."

Today, it's difficult for many of the people - especially in rural areas - to live beyond today. We are so focused on the future, for ourselves and our children, in the US. When the adults are only thinking of whether they'll make it to tomorrow, the situation in debilitating.

I have been astounded by the rich culture, traditions and history here. One of the highlights our first day was visiting one of the Seven Wonders of the World -- Angkor Wat (built in the 12th c). In a single day we visited four elaborate temples. The local claim-to-fame is Angelina Jolie's stint at the temples to film "Tomb Raider."

As I desperately need to head to bed, just a few crazy highlights....!

Playing with wild monkeys on the roadside, eating large spindly BBQ'd crickets in the countryside, riding in tuk-tuks, fruit parties on the bus, seeing a floating village (all houses literally floating!) with locals that would paddle up to our boat carrying sodas for sale and humongous snakes, herds of crocodiles kept under a floating restaurant, wild marketplaces, a woman with tarantulas on her shirt (just for attention's sake!), traditional Khmer dance performances, and the best moment of all...being caught a tropical thunderstorm and getting lost in the middle of the most beautiful, exotic temple ruins I've ever seen.

It's nearing midnight here. I'm sitting in the hotel lobby in Phnom Penh, watching beautiful Asian women escort men from the elevator out to the ominous red glow of the brothel across the street. The sign outside offers room stays as cheap as $5. As we move further into our time here, the reality of the sex industry is going to become more and more of . . . a reality. Being so near to it simultaneously fills me with rage, and breaks my heart.

En route

2008-05-25T10:04:00.000-07:00

Traveling to Cambodia was intense! So fun, but wow was it LONG. I think...25 hours...maybe more! We went from LAX across the Pacific on China Airlines to Taipei, Taiwan. I've trained myself to not be much of a napper, which does NOT come in handy on 15 hour flights. Even with Tylenol PM and the blow-up neck pillows we bought!

Our flight out was delayed several hours leaving LAX, so we landed in Taiwan with 10 minutes to make our connection. We took off running, only to be ushered to a new plane headed to Hong Kong (we were supposed to go to Bangkok). As an aside, the landscape in China is gorgeous! I so badly want to go back!! Traveling is such a bug....

Getting off in Hong Kong, the attendants slapped bright pink stickers on us and lead us all throughout the airport until we were at a plane headed to Thailand (woo hoo!). Bangkok's airport was just about the nicest I've seen! Like a luxury shopping mall, and completely crowd-free. The three of us met Jaclyn in the airport, who had made friends with a local Cambodian. His entire family was killed by the Khmer Rouge (national genocide in the 70's) and he was kept as a child spy. Such a story (we'll be learning more about this throughout the trip).

On to Siem Reap, Cambodia!!

Our hotel is AMAZING. It's called the Lotus Lodge, and is owned by a dutchman named Andre who moved here and fell in love with Lily, a native Cambodian and our wonderful tour guide! They operate the hotel together, and all the workers are locals. We feel so at home here!! There is a view of Angkor Wat temple from the water tower, and geckos in that hang out in our rooms! We are in the heart of Siem Reap, and feel so immersed in the culture.

I love this little boys expression towards Lauren....!

Oops...I did it again!

2008-05-25T09:37:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness, where ever to begin???

The last few days have been the most incredible whirlwind! Best to begin at the beginning...

Dj was so sweet to offer to drive us to the airport...and COMPLETELY surprised me when a LIMO pulled up outside his house!! Talk about an amazing guy. Made it all that much more difficult to say goodbye!

Lauren and Morgan will be joining me for five days in Thailand after Cambodia, so we managed to book our flights together and headed down, rockstar style, from SB. Things were going SO smoothly...TOO smoothly. Nearing the airport, our conversation casually moved to passports, and the atrocity of forgetting them. I'm laughing and starting to tell my infamous Nicaragua passport-forgetting story (I'll write about it someday...it's bad...) when all of a sudden my stomach drops. NOOOOOOO!!!!!!

"My passport's in the scanner in Crystal's apartment."

Yes. In my effort to go above and beyond and make passport copies for everyone I knew pre-departure, I rushed off with loads of xeroxs and not a single real passport.

Praise the Lord for AMAZING friends. I called Tricia (my beautiful roommate!) and told her my predicament in one horrified single sentence. "Well, that's too bad for you," she said, and then hung up.

=) I'm just kidding. Her immediate response was "What can I do???" And drove my passport ALL the way down to LAX. Keving copiloted, and I am forever indebted!! They left the airport with tons of treats, and me with a scolding. Ay yi yi, I still cannot believe I did that!!! Dj and my friends give me WAY more grace than I deserve!

R&R in San Diego

2008-05-08T17:26:00.000-07:00

I can't believe graduation is through! It was strange to go through, having already been out for several months. It was such a symbolic experience, really an official closing to this chapter of life. It was been such an incredible blessing to be a part of this close-knit Westmont community, and I was continually reminded of that seeing the friendships and reliving the memories of our class.

It was so fun to have my parents and brother in town, as well as my godparents from Santa Cruz! After Baccalaureate we had such a lovely dinner at Stella Mare's, this gorgeous shabby-chic Montecito-esque restaurant. My beautiful friend Christie came along for dinner too - so fun! By the end of the night I thought graduation was done....I couldn't believe I had a whole 'nother day of graduating ahead. I was on Typhoid pills all weekend, prepping for Cambodia!, and I think they wiped me out! (I slept for 6 hours after the ceremony on Saturday afternoon -- not the typical post-grad celebration!). I couldn't believe how tired I was!

Monday though the real R&R came! My roommates Brooke & Tricia and I roadtripped down to stay in San Diego at Brooke's parents beach condo -- our official graduation get away!
There is so much going on with Not For Sale (and getting ready for Cambodia!) that I couldn't really take the time away -- so I'm getting up early and sending the girls off for pedicures to fit in the regular emailing!

It has been such a blast to be out of Santa Barbara, and taking each day as it comes. We've had shopping excursions, brunch at the club, dinner with Brooke's family, a run along the cliffs, an interesting downtown excursion, and lots of exploring the darling streets of La Jolla.

Brooke has been prepping for matrimony with her summer reading, and Tricia has been perfecting her DJ free-style-shooting techniques.

A definite highlight was a visit to Grandma Harper's! Her and Brooke's grandpa had just returned from a four month cruise around the world, and she dressed us up in all her outfits - too fun! Jessi, my freshman year roommate, just got her with her husband and the "san diego crew" - so we're off to dinner!

6 Months!

2008-04-24T01:35:00.000-07:00

My anniversary card for DJ.... (and first Showit show!)

Dj has been out of town (Chicago now!) previewing his new software, but he sent THE most gorgeous flowers! He found the only two peonies left in Santa Barbara - my favorite :) I can't believe it's been 6 months!

Charging

2008-04-18T23:20:00.000-07:00

I just got back from a wonderful Thai dinner with Deyl and Paige! The whole time my computer was plugged in up at DJ's house, but I'd borrowed his cord (being a bit too lazy to dig out my own). Being that he is eons ahead of me in the technological world, he uses a MacBook air... and I use this cantankerous outdated thing called a MacBook. The cord I grabbed wasn't made for my computer, but it was closer to me (I actually stole it from him!) and it fit, so well and good enough.

Sure thing (thanks to my selfless borrow) his Air was nearly dead upon arriving back, and he grabbed the power again while I was typing away. Instantly my laptop went black! All that time charging, and and not a smidgen of battery life to show for it.

I know, quite the random Friday night accolade.....but.....it got me thinking. How often do we grab what's nearest to energize us for the moment, only to be drained the instant that its pulled away. God has hard wired us with the need to be charged. So often I can sustain myself for a time being on whatever is within closest reach, but I never am really charged. Empty, in the end, and so worse off than before. At times it takes those extra strides to reach and apply the thing that will truly charge and sustain us - the power cord, so to speak, that we were made for.

xx

Senioralgia

2008-04-15T14:31:00.000-07:00

As much as I've felt "graduated" these past few months, I still can barely believe that the ceremony is almost here! Today I was the object of interview from Westmont's Business Management class. It was the funniest thing to be the "guest," because so many of the guys in the class are my senior buddies. I feel like this time in Santa Barbara has been a "practicum" experience, and the actual graduation ceremony still marks my base jump into the abyss of the real world. Last night we had a senior night in the DC :) After intensive cheerleading at the intramural soccer games, we crowded into the dining commons to complain about the food, throw apples with forks and host chair races. It certainly brought us back!

Also to remind me that graduation time is upon us: speeches, speeches, speeches! Literally. I have three between now and the 3rd, and two yet to write. Thank the Lord that the biggest, Baccalaureate, I already had to submit (not to downplay all the editing and tweaking I'm sure I still have to do!). I just received my letter today from President Beebe, which I guess means that it's the real deal. I couldn't be more excited, what an honor. And I was so stoked to learn that my buddy since Page days freshman year, Ryan Zoradi, will be the other speaker. He's got energy and charisma like I've never seen, so I'm certain it will be a blast!

Tonight I'm going to put something together for the Com department's Lambda Pi Eta ceremony. If anyone is an expert on "excellence in communication," send your thoughts this way!

Alla Prima

2008-04-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago I had the privilege of attending a dinner at Elements hosted by the incredible wedding photography duo, Michael and Anna Costa. Over the course of conversation, Anna and I discovered we shared two similarities: being the daughter of an art-teacher, and our long lost desire to take a painting class in Santa Barbara! It's been a year now that I've been looking into taking an oil class at Portico gallery, and Anna's enthusiasm immediately convinced me the time had come! After a traditional breakfast at Jeannine's, we embarked on out first class this morning. It was so fun! (Out of college for 4 months, and I'm already back in a classroom).

The owner of the gallery teaches these 6 week courses - a wonderful woman who had to continuously and ever so gently inform us that the pieces we wanted to paint were too difficult for us! We finally settled on compromises that we could be excited about (our eyes were bigger than our brushes) and were well on our way. Really I can't believe how much we did! Anna was completely outfitted with every painting tool ever made from her father, who I'm certain is so proud of her beautiful work! The plan is that in 6 weeks, once we are oil painting experts, we will advance to a plein air session with him outdoors in Santa Barbara - I can't wait. And so many thanks to my wonderfully talented mommy for giving me classes as a birthday present. We still need to take a class together too!

Frankie Day

2008-04-10T22:47:00.000-07:00

I love Thursdays, especially this Thursday. I was up at 5:45 wide awake and working! DJ and I went for a walk all through his back neighborhood, accompanied by all these darling elderly couples! When we got back, Crystal was making a gorgeous breakfast!! Such an undeservedly lovely morning :)

And another highlight -- pedicures with Frankie! I just adore this little girl and her family, and I have been so blessed to be a part of their lives for the last three and a half years. I started nannying for Frankie my first week of college. She was only three! It was time for us to have a girls date :) We were joined by Brooke and were certainly the object of much amusement from our toe-painters!

Anesthetical wisdom

2008-04-04T00:38:00.000-07:00

I'm new at this blog thing, so I don't know what good content etiquette is - BUT I'm dying to immortalize an email from Brooke -- one of her all time best.

She's home from getting her wisdom teeth pulled (with the cutest chubby cheeks!). Before she left for SD last week, she was panicked about some new phenomenon they've discovered called "anesthetical awareness." It literally means that you wake up during surgery - yikes! Armed with medical knowledge, Brooke departed for San Diego with the consternation of knowing that this was a horrific surgical reality she most certainly faced.

In the words of the patient who lived to tell the tale...

As for my surgery: I am healing nicely- I am not too swollen and I never got loopy and drugged. The funniest thing happened though when we sat down in the doctor's office - a segment on Oprah came on right then as my mom and I are filling out paperwork about the anesthesia and medications and allergies, and we hear Oprah's voice say "And now for a horrifying look into the lesser-known dangers of surgery as we meet with four women who suffered a terrible ordeal known as anesthetical awareness..."!!! And then a huge lady with a pirate eye patch came on and started talking about how she still gets nightmares and had all these emotional probIems after having this happen to her......I KNOW! Can you even believe that?! We just looked at each other and my eyes got all big and a little teary and then we cracked up and made the nurse change the channel, but she couldnt figure out how to do it, so I'm sitting there looking at the release form I have to sign saying I won't sue them, while listening to the most awful story of this pirate lady who woke up during surgery... ahhhhhh!

Finally the little nurse changed the channel, so I go into the operating room, and sit and wait for the doctor, and in comes the McDreamy of Poway - no joke he was seriously SMOKIN!! I felt like the girl in That Thing you Do who falls in love with her dentist - then I started realizing I was about to pass out and drool all over him, and say stupid things later, so I got nervous and he asked me some questions about my health and things and I was SO AWKWARD. oh my gosh. Anyways, it's all over now, and I am better, I just have to wear this bandage sling ice-pack around my head which my family dubbed "the whitey-tighty headwrap" because it really does look like I've slung my jaw in undies. Ok this is sooo long.... read it to Alison and tell her I LOVE HER and I LOVE YOU and I will see you Wednesday night!!!

-Brooke

April 1st Rocks.

2008-04-01T21:50:00.000-07:00

Not ONLY does a girl find out that she's gone and eloped (with a cutting edge ring, I might add)

..... AND get featured on the Gary Fong blog .....

..... AND get international congratulations through Facebook ......

* * * * *

from a photographer in canada!!!

CONGRATS David Jay and Allison - you may now change your status to engaged!!!!!!!

much happiness!

angela hubbard

* * * * *

BUT I also find out I can have my dream vacay as a VIRGLE pioneer! The adventure of many lifetimes. Who wouldn't want to spend their honeymoon with Richard Branson on Mars??

Seriously. What more could a girl ask for?

ps: Open Source Photo will soon be transitioning to Open Source Planet. Stay tuned.

Fox News & Santa Barbara Sun - What a week!

2008-03-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

It has been such a fun week! Most unexpected: working with Fox News anchor Uma Pemmaraju (right) to get David Batstone on "Geraldo" this Sunday night!! She has been a joy to work with, pulling this production together so last minute. I feel so honored to be discussing framing the story with her - absolute wow. Not to mention, I enlisted on a hunt to find an American teen trafficking survivor, and we actually pulled something together. Uma will be interviewing her and her mother tomorrow in NJ (such a powerful and harrowing story) and then Dave will be broadcast live by satellite from SF on Sunday. I can't believe we're getting this kind of national air time -- the campaign just continues to explode.

TUNE IN Sunday Night, FOX News -- 8pm PST

Not only has it been an exciting work week, but it has been a blast to be back home in Santa Barbara! The days have been gorgeous -- summer has hit! Easter Sunday we went to church at Reality, and were blessed to see so many people come to Christ at the end of the service. I got chills! Afterwards, DJ had a bunch of friends up to the Freedom House, and all the ladies cooked dinner. We watched Gary & Missy's wedding video, which was an absolute highlight!

Monday I went Sailing with Christina -- what an adventure! Let's just say...we need some coaching. GOOD NEWS: We didn't run the boat into the sand, or the jetty, or another boat. Big success!! And then somehow the wind sent us spinning in circles and a man who couldn't speak English pulled up next to us, tied a rope to the front of our boat, and tugged us the last bit in! We were like, "well, I guess we're done!" He must not have had much faith in our sailing skills! That night my parents and brother came through town, and I had the great pleasure of taking them and DJ out to Los Arroyos (our favorite Mexican spot in Montecito).

Tuesday was a blast too! I cooked for DJ, Alison, Brooke, Christina (& Trish in spirit!) all up at the house. We talked for hooooours. Alison keeps saying, "I didn't expect to have that much fun!" We gotta get our friends to "up" their fun-expectation when they're around us. Best of all, the girls all had matching outfits for our picture! Too fun. I love cooking for friends, and spontaneous dinners like these!

Wednesday (above) DJ and I had an outdoor BBQ with our Homegroup - it was so windy! And after I met with my Cambodia group for the first time (more to come on that).

The sailing fiasco was not enough to keep me off the water! Thursday morning, bright and early, Paige and I were on the open ocean! We went kayaking and had a blast!!! Don't tell Paige, but my arms are sore! She's way tougher than I am. I couldn't say anything controversial to her though cause she was sitting behind me and had all splashing and paddle-whacking power! We got yelled at for not wearing life jackets by the harbor patrol and saw tons of dolphins (thought of you Alison!). I can't wait to go again!

As well as from some beautiful runs along Butterfly beach, some great conversations on the Biltmore wall, and a fun shopping trip with Brooke in Paseo -- I also got in a quick beach trip with a few of my BEAUTIFUL "M" girls! These were the ladies I was an RA for my sophomore year at Westmont. I feel like I'm hanging out with sisters when I'm with them. They are beyond wonderful, and such a blessing to me!

It has been the most incredible whirlwind traveling this past month, but this past week in Santa Barbara has been a sunny breath of fresh air :)

La Vie

2008-03-24T18:58:00.001-07:00

At last....

2008-03-24T14:42:00.000-07:00

I've resisted long enough. The time has come!